The time i followed the demons

Recently, i have realised something that i am a hypocrite . I always tend to do the opposite of what i say. Like if i am saying that being a well settled person in your life is the biggest goal you should have , you can buy what you want , wear whatever you love , travel to all the places you want to , thats what should be your top priority but at the same point i am lying on my bed scrolling Pinterest and listening to songs well thats not what you call a “well settled life”. Its not like i don't want to but its like i don't want to . Ya this is the state of mind i am in right now. My mind says to me that if i can rest all day lie in my bed scroll anything i want why not do it? And i listen to that ya thats how i am , you can call me a procrastinator , sloth , lazy or a masochist who doesn't care about her future at all and loves self destruction. Right now i’m in a state where i am stabbing myself. I don't need a villian in my story i play that role perfectly fine ....